


All I See Is You

by charliescastiel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Drabble, First Kiss, Fluff, M/M, New Years, so much fluff omg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-01
Updated: 2015-01-01
Packaged: 2018-03-04 16:12:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3074060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charliescastiel/pseuds/charliescastiel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean, Cas and Sam always spend New Year's Eve getting drunk on top of a hill somewhere in Kansas, but this year is just a little bit different.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All I See Is You

**Author's Note:**

> so i'm the sappiest person alive and i can't write smut to save my life, maybe i'll make it my new year's resolution to work on that.  
> anyway i'm tipsy and destiel af so have the grossest, fluffiest most pointless, cheesy and lame fic ever written.  
> and have a happy new year, wherever you may be!

Castiel had always been fascinated with New Year’s Eve, although, not as much as Christmas - which was a whole other story - but still a lot.  
Dean wasn’t sure whether it was the fireworks, the familial traditions or the sense of potential for a brand new start that appealed to Cas the most, but the thing that Dean loved the most about New Year’s was definitely spending it with Cas. 

And Sam, Sam too.

They even had a regular spot now where they could watch the fireworks without having to drive into town. The place was a clearing at the top of a hill about a forty minute drive from the bunker. They went their every year, it was tradition. It had taken two straight weeks of persuasion, puppy dog eyes and bribery before Dean agreed to drive them out to somewhere secluded yet beautiful to welcome in the New Year together.

Eventually it was Dean’s love of celebration and Sam’s stubbornness that they never celebrate the holidays any more that brought him around. It was definitely not the thought of maybe getting to kiss Cas as the clock struck midnight, of course it wasn’t. Because that was ridiculous and stupid and why would he ever want to do that?

So every year they went, for the past four years, and every year Dean suffered in silence as he celebrated the New Year without that one midnight kiss he so desperately hoped for.

Dean relaxes further onto the blanket the three were currently spread on, snack food and beer cans everywhere. Sam has brought along a small digital radio so they could count along the last moments until midnight, at the moment there was still just over half an hour to go and the radio was on low in the background, the tones of a classic rock song drifting across the field, Dean softly humming along and tapping his feet to the rhythm.

Earlier they had burnt sparklers at Castiel’s request, which absolutely made Dean feel like an eight year old kid again. But Cast thought it was magical and wonderful and Dean couldn’t deny him that. Not when his most precious memory was of that night years ago with Sam back in 1996. Cas had attempted to draw something several times, his brow forming an adorable crease as the spark wouldn’t last long enough for him to spell out what he was attempting.

Dean told him that next time he’d bring a camera so they could photograph and develop the film, because it would so up perfectly there. Cas smiled and made him promise.

It was around four and a half years ago now that Cas fell from grace, and he’d hardly left the Winchester’s side since. It has been a tough start, to be thrown into humanity like that, a total roller-coaster of trial and error and emotional complications. Cas didn’t think he’d make it through, but he had Sam and he had Dean and they taught him everything.

From how to shave to when to eat, when to sleep to how to enjoy a night out. They talked him through processing his emotions and needs, a particularly difficult one on both parts the first time Castiel what the difference between ‘love’ and being ‘in love’ meant. Dean blushed, stumbled over his words and abruptly left the room, leaving Sam to answer an increasingly confused Cas, whose questions grew in complexity by the moment.

They taught him how to take pleasure in the smallest things in life and even how to cope with the flu. They taught him how to hunt, properly and efficiently, how to hunt vampires, werewolves and even wendigoes. They taught him how to dress like a Winchester, act like a Winchester, how to _be_ a Winchester. And well, if Dean blushed when he told him he’d had that part down for years, Castiel didn’t seem to notice.

It was so easy, Castiel fitting into their routine, that Dean wondered how he’d ever managed without him. Of course he was worried that Cas would up and leave one day without so much as a goodbye, Cas always used to leave. Dean didn’t know how to ask him to stay. He didn’t have the words.

But Cas had seemed to understand him anyway, through just one look. One look that translated all their history, all their pain and suffering but also their bond and need and love for each other. That Cas didn’t need to leave any more, because he was already home.

Sam’s laughter brings him back to the present, where Cas is no doubt doing something adorable. Dean reaches over him and grabs a chicken leg, dumping it in an unhealthy amount of ketchup. Cas pulls a face in response to which Dean mutters a ‘what?’ with his mouth full.

Cas rolls his eyes and looks up at the stars, his face utterly content as he absorbs the light of the universe. Dean often wonders what it was like for him now, if he still sees the universe the same way. He always talks about it with such passion and awe, talks about the stars as if they were alive and he can literally _see_ their movement across space. Talks about nature as the most precious of all of God’s creations, talks about humanity as if he could never quite figure it out but he loves it unconditionally anyway. Dean wishes he could ask Cas about how he sees the world, but he doesn’t do feelings of course.

Cas closes his eyes, concentrating on the sounds of the radio and the wind blowing across his face. He look so god damn beautiful as the moonlight hits the angular lines of his jawline, travelling across his cheekbones and making his eyes shine. Because shit, now Cas has opened his eyes, and he is staring at Dean, who was staring back at him and forgetting that he needs to breathe.

Dean wants to kiss Cas. He wants to kiss him a lot. 

This wasn’t exactly an epiphany to him, he had dealt with these feelings for the better part of a decade. Dealt with in this case meaning ignoring entirely. 

Dean shifts uncomfortably and Sam shoots him a questioning look which he shakes off with a smile. As he watches Cas watch him out of the corner of his eye, he entertains the idea of just turning his head and leaning down to plant his lips on Castiel’s. He feels a blush begin to colour his cheeks at the thought alone, Castiel’s eyes squint.

“What?” Dean asks, jaw tight, hoping Cas would stop staring sometime before next year.

“You look… never mind.” Cas starts, before biting his lips and shaking his head and leaning up to grab a handful of crisps.

Dean desperately wants him to continue with that thought, but Sam hushes them and turns up the radio, announcing less than a minute until the New Year.

Castiel shuffles closer to the radio and Dean shuffles closer to Cas, the three of them crowding around the radio closely as the anticipation grows. Dean stands up quickly as he remembers the party hats and poppers he left in the trunk of the car. He returns quickly and chucks a hat to Sam, sitting down and putting Castiel’s on his head for him, his tongue poking out and his hat already donned. Cas tilts his head in confusion, the way he did when Dean used to fix his tie. Dean choked a little on the air.

The radio begins to count down.

 _Ten_. Sam is counting along loudly.

 _Nine_. Cas joins in and Dean smiles widely.

 _Eight_. Dean’s cheeks heat and he joins in too.

 _Seven_. They turn to face each other and their lock eyes and Dean couldn’t move even if he wanted to.

 _Six_. Sam throws him a party popper but he doesn’t notice because Cas is all he can see.

 _Five_. Dean swallows. The air feels tight and there’s no way out.

 _Four_. He wants to close the gap between them, it wouldn’t take much, just one movement and it would be over, and everything would be out on the table. .

 _Three_. He can’t do it.

 _Two_. They each stop breathing.

 _One_. Cas beats him to it as he grabs Dean’s chin softly and pulls their faces together, their lips brushing at long last.

 _Happy New Year!_ The voice on the radio utters along with the sound of cheering and fireworks.

Somewhere in his mind he knows that Sam is staring at them with a slack jaw and no clue what to do, but he can’t find him in it to care because this is happening, it’s actually happening and Dean can’t process anything else.

Dean’s hand moves up to stroke Castiel’s cheek as he deepens the kiss, their noses bumping clumsily in an attempt to experience everything. Too much has built up for too long and Dean feels like he’s melting from the inside out and if he was standing, he’s certain his knees would have buckled by now and he’d be face down on the floor.

Sam was still watching them but neither of them can pull away, neither of them want to. They’ve waited so long for this moment. Castiel’s hand drops from his chin to Dean’s waist and it feels possessive and needy but all too right and Dean feels it too so he places his other hand in Castiel’s hair and gives him everything he’s asking for.

Dean thinks this may be the greatest moment of his life, well, he knows it is, and all the years of dreaming about this moment can’t compare to the immense amount of relief, affection and pure love he feels right now. But also feels regret and guilt, because he’s missed out on having this for years because he was too afraid to man up and take ownership over his own feelings.

Even after everything they’ve been through.

Even after Cas all but admitted his love for Dean right in front of him.

Cas somehow finds a way to part Dean’s lips and brushes his tongue across Dean’s bottom lip and Dean accidentally moans, its low and its loud and Dean knows he should feel embarrassed that his brother is right their and he’s clear his throat half a dozen times but he hasn’t pulled them apart yet so Dean doesn’t plan on stopping.

It’s kind of getting hard to breathe now because it’s so intense and so passionate and so beyond any first kiss he’s experienced in his life. They break apart for a moment to catch their breath but it doesn’t last long before Cas blinks up at him and Dean leans back in, more confident and demanding this time.

Sam is cheering now, deciding to give them a few more moments as the first fireworks begin in the town a few miles away towards the south of the hill, but neither Dean nor Cas notice this as Castiel’s arms snake up and around Dean’s neck, whose hands grip Cas’s waist even tighter in response.

They can feel the glimmer of the fireworks from behind their eyelids and they reluctantly pull away, breathing heavily. The view from their spot is gorgeous, surrounded by trees and a thin blanket of snow, like their own little corner of the world, but Dean still cannot look away from Cas.

Cas stares back at him, Dean’s mouth slack in surprise, as Castiel whispered lowly into his ear, “Happy New Year, Dean.”

“Happy New Year, Cas.” Dean whispers back, his voice is rough and low and he leans his forehead against Cas’s and nuzzles their noses together.

Cas laughs them, in spite of the ridiculousness of it all. Castiel spent a millennia serving heaven, Dean has been to hell and back, they spent a year in purgatory without a single moment’s peace. Yet the past sixty seconds feel like the most life changing moments of their lives. Because they final crossed the line and there is no return from that.

They are smiling at each other like idiots, and Dean thinks not for the first time that Cas’s eyes are actually the most beautiful colour he’s ever witnessed and he could easily become lost in them.

Apparently Sam has hand enough now because he claps his hands loudly and throws an empty beer bottle their way. Dean ducks it, laughing and Cas entwines their hands together where they are now resting on the blanket. Sam’s smile turns from teasing to sincere happiness, and though he doesn’t say anything, they all know he’s thinking nothing but ‘I’m glad you finally got your shit together’.

They settle back down, lying together with their hands still joined as Cas points out his favourite fireworks. The fireworks don’t hold much wonder for Dean right now, he’s content enough just watching Cas. He’s spent long enough denying himself that luxury, he’s just making up for lost time.

There was so much they still needed to talk about – years of awkward tension and layered sentences and so many unresolved issues and it hung over them like a pressing weight, but now was really not the time for that. Maybe in the morning. Or maybe in a week or two, there was after all, much more enjoyable activities that could be using their precious time with.

He leans over and peeks Cas on the cheek mid-sentence, it’s the most fleeting brush but it’s no less meaningful than the one before. It speaks of potential and change and a promise to explore their future together.

Dean lies back and finally turns his attention to the fireworks, accepting a fresh beer from Sam and wishing him a ‘Happy New Year’. He hopes that every New Year can be exactly like this, that their whole year can be like this – painless and stress-free. He doubts it strongly, but it’s okay, because as he looks over at Sam and then at Cas, he can’t help but smile because nothing is more important to him than his family.

And he has that.

 


End file.
